It has been a VERY long time since I have sat down to write anything anywhere other than a Facebook or Instagram caption or comment...so welcome, or welcome back to our family adventures. 2020 sure has taken us on an unexpected adventure to say the least. Living in the midst of a global pandemic as an individual, as a mother and as a registered nurse all come with quite a few navigational and anxiety ridden challenges I certainly was not prepared to handle.
When the news first broke in our corner of the world that there was a new virus on the market wreaking havoc in China, I, like most of the world, thought it was another problem not really going to directly impact me. I was fairly ignorant to what was really going on in other parts of the world and just how much my life was about to change.
Fast forward a few weeks to the whole world watching with bated breath as the cases of Covid19 slowly trickled into other parts of the world. Those cases exploded into massive outbreaks and spread like wild fire. My eyes were opened and my heart was gripped in fear. Pandemic. The buzz word of 2020 was here on our doorstep.
Things changed quickly after that. Schools closed here March 13th and we weren't sure they would open again. Mass chaos of stockpiling hand sanitizer, masks, gloves and toilet paper ensued. N95 masks started disappearing. Bulletins and hollow reassurances from work places started to circulate trying to ensure health care workers need not fear running out of personal protective gear. We held our breath. We watched. We waited.
Weeks and weeks of feeling like we were on the edge of tipping over the railing and tensions rising as more and more new cases of Covid19 started springing up in our area and we feared the worst. We watched in horror as other countries and parts of our own country drowned in trying to help care for sick people. We waited for our turn. We tried to flatten the curve.
As a nurse living and working amidst a global pandemic your worries go to your patients. You worry you won't be able to do enough, that you'll lose people, that you'll get sick yourself. You fear running out of precious protective equipment. As a mother, that fear extends to "what am I bringing home to my family". Am I an asymptomatic carrier? That fear is real and palpable and keeps you up at night. I would never forgive myself if I carried this virus to my children. To my grandmother. So you close yourself off. You keep your distance and you let that quiet anxiety continue to hum beneath the surface. I keep my children shut away safely in the house. I wash my hands until they are raw. I strip down at the door way when I come home, scurry up to the washing machine and throw my clothes directly in for a hot wash then throw myself directly in the shower for a hot wash. Only then do I feel a tiny bit safer to be near them. I second guess every hug and every kiss and every touch...are they safe? Did I do enough?
Time passes as it always does and things in our little corner of the world seem to calm down. We are successfully flattening the curve. We are winning the war against this invisible enemy. Things slowly get back to the "new normal" and we can all breathe a little easier.
Now it is summer and sunshine and we are trying to live within the means of our "new normal". Common practices are social distancing, carrying hand sanitizer, waiting in line to go into a store, wearing masks, following arrows on the floors but also getting creative, learning what's truly important, spending time outdoors, exploring your own backyard and taking a deep breath and a step back from the everyday hustle and bustle.
Living in a global pandemic is not easy. It's not without its challenges and disappointments. It's cancelled weddings, and dying alone. It's missing friends and family. It's staying home. It's losing your job. It's closing businesses. But it is also becoming closer to the ones you love in your own bubble. It's appreciating time spent with family and friends after having the ability to see them taken away rather than using an excuse of "I'm too busy". It's creative business ventures, it's being forced to have a new outlook and a new direction. It's slowing down. It's taking a deep breath. It's not all good, but it's also not all bad.
That is my take home. It's not all good but it's not all bad. We had many sad disappointments for our cancelled adventures but we also have many things to be thankful for...number one being the health and safety of those who mean the most to us. We are grateful for the measures taken to keep us all safe and healthy because nothing is more important than that.
Our summer and our future look a little different than we had planned, but sometimes that curve ball thrown your way can be the best thing to happen to you. Embrace it, go with the flow and make the most of what you've got. I know we certainly are.
Take care of yourself, be kind to each other, wash your hands and don't pick your nose.
Adventure is out there!
Love,
The McDonnells
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